Standing In The Fire


Last month I gave my Advanced Teacher Trainees an assignment called the Edge Project. This project is designed for them to stretch beyond their comfortable limits, to face their fears, and to step into a bigger space as a teacher. It is no surprise to me that in the last month, I too have been called to stretch further than I have in the past and to stand strong in the unknown and uncomfortable. Opportunity after opportunity presented itself to me. During the last month I have been presented with challenging social situations, having to say no when it was much easier to people please and say yes, speaking up when it was necessary and felt crippling to do so, coming into a more integral relationship with my finances, recognizing where I have been hiding and taking the action necessary to step out in the light, and having the bravery to confront and heal old wounds. Each time I found myself standing on my personal edge, I recognized the sensations in my belly, the subtle shaking of my hands, the sweat beading in my armpits, and the strong desire to have the Earth open up and swallow me whole so I wouldn't have to experience the pain my mind perceived I would endure if I allowed myself to be present.

I have been in the fire countless times throughout my forty years and one thing I've learned is that although it is uncomfortable, it can't kill you. Sometimes we get lucky and we ca