I spent my morning in ritual and sadhana reflecting on and honoring all of the teachings I have received in this last turn of the wheel and the last year. The spring equinox has always been my favorite time during the wheel of the year because of the hope that it brings. The trees are starting to bloom and the beginnings of flowers are emerging from the dark soil. It's also my favorite time because it is the perfect balance between light and dark. I am sharing my practice, including the words I wrote in my journal, with you in the hopes to inspire you to adopt the practice as well, including my vulnerability and willingness to own and love all parts of me; both the light and the dark.
After clearing myself and my space with the smoke of sage, palo santo, and rose petals, setting up my altar, calling in the directions, honoring the seasons and wisdoms gained during their time, setting my intention, and moving my body through a prayerful asana practice I sat with my journal. The following unfolded.
Today I honor where I have been, the lessons learned, & my shadows revealed. I honor where I stand now, how those lessons have steered me along my path and brought me to where I am today. While in my hibernation cave between winter solstice and today's spring equinox much has been revealed.
I hold a great amount of faith and devotion that to which I am always connected-even when I don't always feel it
I have difficulty in fully loving and being loved for fear of loss
Trauma and emotions are indeed stored within the fibers of the body. But, as we begin to journey through our emotional body we can free up our energy and physical bodies
Our entire human existence is focused on healing our wounds and stepping into our highest version of self. There are many, many layers. The path is tricky. There will be tears and there may be blood.
Through trust and breath I can bring the essence of the divine into my heart and recognize it as my own
I often sacrifice myself for others needs and desires over my own; I have the tendency to pull myself out of my own personal healing to take on someone else's pain
I deeply love my husband, unconditionally with every fiber of my being. He truly sees and loves me for who I am - light and dark
I need to spend more time under the stars and in the woods
My animals are the best teachers of trust, patience, & unconditional love
I have deep wounding around guilt and shame that comes from a lifetime being taught something completely opposite my true nature
When people leave my life it hurts. When I move through the hurt and allow myself to feel it I can see the purpose that person had in my life and the gift I received. Sometimes this gift is in the form of a beautiful memory created or a painful lesson learned. Both are equally important
I am done living life according to "the culture of the people". I am ready to live according to the purpose of my soul
In the next week, as the moon wanes, I am allowing the release of all that is keeping me from living up to my highest purpose
I release fear, shame, and guilt into the Earth. I recognize these emotions are not justified - they are projections from old stories that do not serve where I am choosing to go
Seeds I am planting
Connect to the Divine intentionally everyday
Stay committed to healing through all of the layers
Stay in my Heart
Better boundaries: forcefields not walls!
Awareness not hyper vigilance: Balance!
Enjoy family and being home
Listen to the rhythms of my body and act on what I truly need instead of acting on the "shoulds"
I sealed my practice by bringing my hands into my heart, kneeling before my altar, and committing whole heartedly to these intentions. Grounding myself into the heart of the Earth beneath me I know that with breath, intention, and steady practice all is possible. For the good of all so mote it be.
The most important part of this practice? It's not the herbs burned to cleanse the space, it's not the altar, it's none of the pageantry of ritual. The real magic comes from the work you put forth to inquire within and to do the work to create the life you deserve to live. I leave you with a quote that I feel sums up the secret to everything:
"But you must be willing to do the work to get there. This is no airy fairy ride that you can transcend your way into and it isn’t for the faint of heart. Talking to your angels will not get you there. Opening your third eye will not get you there. Skimming the surface and dancing around the truth of who you are will not get you there. Knowing thyself will get you there. Knowing, seeing, opening to and accepting every aspect of yourself will get you there. Letting go of the walls around your heart, your womb, your yoni and every other part of your body will get you there."